shout out to my ex

2 of those beats were made for her

Unpopular opinion:

It’s not a man’s responsibility to give a woman an o*****.

She can’t cum, that’s her own fault…

living together now

Now make some babies

the only babies allowed in this household are kittens

Been following this Lincoln memorial reflecting pool news and turns out that it typically turns green in the summer. So I’m starting to think this isn’t entirely trumps fault for once :/

Guy who’s only seen one meme:
I think they should make more of these

I think memes should get their own movie

Boss called me randomly rn over some non-issue thank god i wasnt sleeping

Yeah I'm never sleeping during work again

Just tried to lil bro my coworker and it back fired

Malcolm really pulled up to that police station/hospital like “I can’t hold back all these Muslim niggas”

Having bosses

Could be done with work by 12:30

Not scamming me today boys

This cute girl works at the dispensary. A while back she gave me a card to leave a review and drew a cat on the back with her name on it. It’s just been sitting in my wallet. Saw her today for first time in months and showed her the card and she got all smiley. She’s like “did you leave a review” and I’m all like 🙄😏 “no I’m such a procrastinator but now that you’re back I can leave one”

Feel like I’m almost juggling women at this point, but they’re all just talking stages or potential things

Who am I kidding all these women could ghost me

But the English teacher who lives in Japan said she MIGHT be able to see me tonight would be first time meeting

Might not get the job cus i apparently never signed up for selective service wtfff