I feel like I'm too stuck in my head again.

ngl today one of the worst days in awhile. I rly think my brain just fundamentally cooked. haven't wanted to say this to anyone irl so I'm saying it here but I been thinking about suicide a lot these days and it's hard for me not to see it as the solution. I've worked so much on myself to get a sense of stability or relief but it's like the goat Greg LeMond said about cycling, "it doesn't get easier you just get faster." feel like it's never gotten easier I've just gotten better but it's just as hard always just as hard. and I'm so tired. I'm so tired and I'm always in so much physical and emotional pain. I can't even remember my good days anymore. I know they're there, but my brain just doesn't remember them. I know it would cause so much pain to my family and friends but it's like....IM in so much pain man..at some point I gotta prioritize myself

I don't know the specifics of your situation, but have you looked at a private inpatient psychiatric residential treatment stay (2-4 weeks?) to see alternative ways of looking at your situation?

yea idk how that works for a foreigner on a residency permit where I live. dont have medical coverage yet waiting on that to get approved. thinking I might volunteer at this zen monastery for a couple months this summer i need a break from "real life" yfm

Feel like my brain is rotting slowly

empty inside

Running out of answers here man

Genuinely so f***ing tired of ocd

I’m just tired

I’m really going through the motions rn lmao

Not suicidal nor do I have ideations in the slightest but it is something bout existing in a world without my pops that just makes me hate said world yo.

Yeah I think I’m fundamentally broken man

Doom scrolling like a mf lately. Hate this

Don’t think I can do this for much longer

If homicide/anger was seen as a mental illness, this woulda been confirmed as facts decades ago

I just need to stop thinking

I overthink everything

Never in my life would I have thought I’d be so down mentally right before my child is born. God damn I’m freaking out

I suppose it’s normal to be scared, but with my mental health struggles (OCD), I think im just more prone to actually having a breakdown in high stress situations, despite all the therapy work I’ve done

This is the biggest life event I’ve ever had or will have have and my mind is sure feeling it

Im broke asf an maybe out of a job but im holding on man

I been doing instacart for income for like 8 months i rly need this job man. If i dont get it i might crash out in a crazy way

Its wild how this is easily the worst situation i ever been in but im not that depressed

only you can save u! Fr

Big life event = ocd time to shine. Its evil and wouldnt wish it on anyone. Congrats on becoming a father

aimless days...